Monday, June 18, 2012


Welcome Back

I am welcoming myself back to the blogging world.  Many crises have occurred since I have last written in this space.

I have heard from many sources that God/dess will only allow the number of sorrows that can be handled.

Honestly, I beg to differ.

In our efforts to get close to another we let our guards down.

We begin to adore that person
Crave their company and touch
Think of them at odd moments
Create dreams including them
And always wish them well.

Whether child or adult, we love that someone and their welfare becomes our concern. We wish only good in their lives. Sometimes creating goodness.

Over the years of loving we become complacent and take for granted the phone call, the whispers, the jokes, the tears, the wholesomeness of giving and receiving love.

At age 49 my love of 30 years suddenly left this earth, congestive heart failure.  And just at the point when we were planning his 50th birthday party.  My goodness, life is not promised to us for always.  But we live as if this is forever land.  No apparent illness, healthy, still handsome (to me anyway), loving nature, expert at his job, and enjoying Mr. Rex (his other love, the dog).  The grief spread across the nation as we gathered his friends and family.

A hard taffy to swallow. 

No need to explain to you the pain.  One month later my dad passed.  He was 82 years old.  Touch and willing to travel to his Heaven.  Eager to see his parents and friends who ha travelled the road before him.

I spent a week by his bedside at the Veterans Hospital and he seemed concerned about leaving me.  Bright expressive eyes questioning my mood. A stroke ten years earlier left him without speech.  I did my best to reassure my dad that it was OK to travel the road of hard taffy.  With no choice, I let my dad go with promises of no pain by medical staff.

Promised.  I assured dad that

I would not forget nor stop loving him in our forever daughter and dad bond.  And so the rock hard taffy had surfaced once again.  I existed in a wretched stupor between the deaths of my love and my dad.

Finally I am able to feel again the marshmellow softness as the breeze of my love and my dad whisper that loving is a treasure that continues beyond death.  And so I welcome myself back to the bitter and the sweet recognition of Marshmellow Softness and Rock Hard Taffy.

Note that I am available for reading engagements in the USA

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