In the book Marshmellow Softness and ... the first poem Triumph mentions "both lean on the edge of anticipation as the romance unfolds" ((c)2011
In private communication a woman describes her attraction to another woman and the hesitation it involves - Take a peek at diary entries...
Joyce, what can I say, I'm addicted to dove, dark chock-a-lot. This beautiful chocolate woman is my new neighbor. I thought I would say hello new neighbor and was immediately intrigued by her look, so femmy and so masculine at the same time. Ohhhlaa
I told you I was addicted to insanity, I hear my neighbor slamming doors again. But what happens when a woman gets out of prison? You the Social Worker Joyce, tell me. Is there an issue with space? Every evening I come home from work and her door is open. As if inviting me to come in, to say hi, to visit.
You are right, nothing lasts forever, not even true love. I know I have been obsessed by women in the past but never one who has lived so close to me. I can see her, speak to her, smell her woodsy, flower essence perfume.
She asked me today to come and give her a massage. I was so excited. I was so uptight. Just 2 girlfriends caring for each other is what I told myself. But inside I was too excited. She kept her clothes on and I gave her a massage to relieve the tension of the day. My tensions had only begun. I wanted her to touch me in places my mama said were reserved for men only. Does she know how I feel or am I fooling myself once again.
I think she has me under a spell. She comes by my place evrery day just to ask me to go with her to her apartment. We play music and discuss books and slow dance holding each other tight. She never goes any further than I allow her to go and already I wonder if we have gone too far. I am addicted to her and she to me. She says she still loves the woman from prison days but I have never seen her. All my evenings, up until bedtime, is spent with her.
This satin doll is absolutely mesmerizing. I must admit, she knows how to weave a love spell. She has me caught and not even wiggling to be free.
She is a charmer, a real pimp-ess, a romantic woman at best. She knows what to say to keep me coming. She told me she could satisfy my need for women. She said she could turn me out and keep me at her side. Turn me out. How scary the thought to be turned out. What does that mean? How does it feel? How is it different from being with a man?
How long can I keep her interest? We kiss, waist up and she wants more but I insist it aint real loving just playing around above the waist. I guess all my religious training comes into play when it comes to women. I so want to be with one. I havent been with a man in 2 years. I just long for a woman, try to get close and then run away. Can she help me to stop running away. Where is the fear and where is the love? My neighbor wants to love me so bad, but why? Am I not deserving of the passion, more than just the thought?
IS THIS HOW WOMEN GET STARTED IN LOVE, THROUGH HESITATIONS, FEARS.???
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